[{"id":19739,"date":"2026-09-18T16:56:46","date_gmt":"2026-09-18T16:56:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19739"},"modified":"2026-09-18T16:58:51","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T16:58:51","slug":"issue-36-highlights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-36-highlights\/","title":{"rendered":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 36 highlights"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">For 25 years,<em>&nbsp;Bellevue Literary Review&nbsp;<\/em>has been publishing stories, essays, and poems that take readers into the shared space where art and medicine meet. Throughout our anniversary year, we&#8217;re marking this incredible milestone by inviting you on a journey through the&nbsp;<em>BLR<\/em>&nbsp;archive, from the beginning through the present.<br><br>Join us each week as we curate special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:16px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex advgb-dyn-6744e1a5\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"750\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png\" alt=\"Issue 36 2019 Prize Winners\" class=\"wp-image-10524 lazyload\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png 750w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"font-size:30px\">About the Issue<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#000000;font-size:16px\"><br>Issue 36 featured the 2019 <em>BLR<\/em> Prizewinners, judged by Maud Casey, Elisabeth Rosenthal, and Jennifer Bartlett. It also included a Book Review Roundup, highlighting a quartet of debut poetry collections. Plus, the most spring-like cover in <em>BLR<\/em>&#8216;s history!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:14px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:35px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:30px\"><strong>From the Foreword<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">The <em>BLR<\/em> is no longer an experiment in publishing work at the intersection of literature and medicine. We\u2019re proud that it has become an established literary journal. However, a journal is only as effective as the work in its pages, and we\u2019re grateful for the many fine submissions we receive. Though we\u2019re able to publish just a small fraction of them, we\u2019re moved by the stories, essays, and poems that come our way. The subject matter of the submissions has changed over time, reflecting the changes in culture and society.<br><br>Our world has become increasingly dominated by social media, twenty-four-hour news cycles, random violence, and divisive political views. A literary journal is one of the few places a reader can turn to for creative, humane, and often lyrical perspectives on life. Literature can provide a refuge from current events and, at the same time, offer insights about the contemporary world. Great literature helps to bridge divides and connect reader to writer, person to person, in profound and meaningful ways. If we feel empathy for characters in stories or for narrators in poems and essays, and read about people with backgrounds different from ours, then we\u2019re more likely to feel empathy for real people. At some point, all of us will become patients or family members of patients or grapple with unexpected events that alter our lives. Literature teaches us about life and emotions, can bring comfort and give us tools to help navigate our fast-paced, uncertain world.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">&#8211; Ronna Wineberg,&nbsp;Contributing Fiction Editor<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div style=\"height:16px;width:0px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer wp-container-content-f9bd05ee\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button advgb-dyn-6388d5fc\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/foreword\/issue-36-foreword\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d;font-size:18px\">continue reading<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:17px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-row alignfull  root-eb-row-fej0g\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-row-fej0g \"><div class=\"eb-row-root-container eb-row-fej0g\" data-id=\"eb-row-fej0g\"><div class=\"eb-row-wrapper\"><div class=\"eb-row-inner\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-row  root-eb-row-lvp29\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-row-lvp29 \"><div class=\"eb-row-root-container eb-row-lvp29\" data-id=\"eb-row-lvp29\"><div class=\"eb-row-wrapper\"><div class=\"eb-row-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-column  root-eb-column-9navd\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-column-9navd \"><div class=\"eb-column-wrapper eb-column-9navd\"><div class=\"eb-column-inner\">\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center has-x-large-font-size\">Read Highlights from Issue 36<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><em>Each week, we&#8217;ll be highlighting one outstanding story, poem, and essay from the featured issue. We encourage you to explore more from the issue on our website or, better yet, to pick up a copy!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover is-light\" style=\"min-height:550px;aspect-ratio:unset;\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim-100 has-background-dim\" style=\"background-color:#c2d9fa\"><\/span><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-row alignfull  root-eb-row-t5rk9\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-row-t5rk9 \"><div class=\"eb-row-root-container eb-row-t5rk9\" data-id=\"eb-row-t5rk9\"><div class=\"eb-row-wrapper\"><div class=\"eb-row-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-column  root-eb-column-2ubms\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-column-2ubms \"><div class=\"eb-column-wrapper eb-column-2ubms\"><div class=\"eb-column-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-73v0p\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-73v0p \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-73v0p button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-73v0p\"><h1 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">FICTION<\/span><\/h1><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\" style=\"font-size:30px\"><strong><strong><strong>The Kings of Gowanus<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\"><em>2019 Winner, Goldenberg Prize for Fiction&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\">by Rae Meadows<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">Big Jim Sullivan was born in America, in Darby\u2019s Patch, a squatter\u2019s camp of dirt-floored, single-room shanties along the canal where hogs roamed the serpentine alleyways. When it rained, the canal flooded the slum.&nbsp;<br><br>\u201cStood on chairs,\u201d he\u2019d told his son Jimmy, \u201cuntil the floor dried out.\u201d<br><br>His parents had come from Derrymore in County Kerry, a village tucked between the green velvet Slieve Mish Mountains and the ocean. His father had been a fisherman. But in America, he peddled \u201cfresh country milk\u201d to the genteel in Brooklyn Heights from his sickly cow that ate from slop heaps and drank swill from a nearby distillery.<br><br>\u201cWhen the city came, my mum stood in the doorway with an axe,\u201d Big Jim had laughed. \u201cThey burned the house down around her.\u201d<br><br>Jimmy took a shallow breath through his mouth as he stepped from the sagging cottage, the door clacking against its broken frame behind him. If the city wanted to burn down their house, he might go ahead and let them do it.<br><br>\u200b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:9px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/fiction\/the-kings-of-gowanus\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d;font-size:18px\">continue reading<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:35px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover is-light\" style=\"min-height:550px;aspect-ratio:unset;\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim-100 has-background-dim\" style=\"background-color:#cfdfd2\"><\/span><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-row alignfull  root-eb-row-naz8i\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-row-naz8i \"><div class=\"eb-row-root-container eb-row-naz8i\" data-id=\"eb-row-naz8i\"><div class=\"eb-row-wrapper\"><div class=\"eb-row-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-column  root-eb-column-7awtw\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-column-7awtw \"><div class=\"eb-column-wrapper eb-column-7awtw\"><div class=\"eb-column-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-g5307\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-g5307 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-g5307 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-g5307\"><h1 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">NONFICTION<\/span><\/h1><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\" style=\"font-size:30px\"><strong>Harvest Moon<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\"><em>2019 Winner, Felice Buckvar Prize for Nonfiction<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\">by Julia Michie Bruckner<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px;line-height:1.6\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">The September moon hovered, low and generous. Its light cut through the blinds and cast bright bars over the still child, his mother twisted around him.<br><br>The boy\u2019s cheeks had the glow of alabaster, his under-eyes a violet translucence, his cracked lips a pallor. His fingers lay straight, with nails a seashell gray. A helium balloon drifted along the ceiling tiles, wrinkling.<br><br>Monitors surrounded the bed, with their green-glow flashes and red-blinking beeps, digits counting steadily downward. Tides of sterile saline entered his vein and traveled first to the heart, then to fingers and toes, then back heartward.<br><br>The breathing tube shone a lustrous blue, the moonlight catching its ridges as it curved between his lips. With each marching breath, the tube clouded, then cleared. Oxygen drawn in, carbon dioxide forced out. A measured rise of his chest \u2013 the essence of momentary endurance.<br><br>The boy\u2019s mother lay in a heap of hands and hips, mountains surrounding a deep lake. Every so often she would tremble, quake, then wail.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:9px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-thb-accent-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/nonfiction\/harvest-moon\/\" style=\"color:#000000;font-size:18px\">continue reading<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:35px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover is-light advgb-dyn-34458208\" style=\"min-height:550px;aspect-ratio:unset;\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim-100 has-background-dim\" style=\"background-color:#e8ad9a\"><\/span><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-row alignfull  root-eb-row-d7std\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-row-d7std \"><div class=\"eb-row-root-container eb-row-d7std\" data-id=\"eb-row-d7std\"><div class=\"eb-row-wrapper\"><div class=\"eb-row-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-column  root-eb-column-78i2o\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-column-78i2o \"><div class=\"eb-column-wrapper eb-column-78i2o\"><div class=\"eb-column-inner\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-47zuz\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-47zuz \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-47zuz button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-47zuz\"><h1 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">POETRY<\/span><\/h1><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\" style=\"font-size:30px\"><strong>Particle<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><em>2019 Winner, Marica and Jan Vilcek Prize for Poetry<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"a-figment-of-your-imagination-a88f3abb-7840-4827-9bcb-f749dfdd27e4\">by Jan Bottiglieri<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px;line-height:1.6\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">like light is.<br><br>like my speckled skin: brim<br>and brink.&nbsp; verge.<br><br>that\u2019s me: floating around with the light.&nbsp; little mote.<br>fluff uncoupled from the seed head: a blown wish:<br><br>stage one, stage two, buckle. glow. the doctor said&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<em>more<br>like one-and-a-half.&nbsp;<\/em>&nbsp;<em>only particle<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:9px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/particle\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#d85b35;font-size:18px\">continue reading<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:35px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:16px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" style=\"font-size:30px\">Issue 36: The Cover<br><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-tpgb-tp-image tpgb-image tpgb-block-b79e_19739\"><figure class=\"tpgb-figure\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1920\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-scaled.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"tpgb-img-inner wp-image-19760 lazyload\" loading=\"lazy\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-scaled.jpeg 2560w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-300x225.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-150x113.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-768x576.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-2048x1536.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-370x278.jpeg 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-800x600.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-20x15.jpeg 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-740x555.jpeg 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-1600x1200.jpeg 1600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-600x450.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/BLR-with-cover-artist-Pamela-Sztybel-2-64x48.jpeg 64w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">This issue of <em>BLR<\/em> featured artist Pamela Sztybel&#8217;s &#8220;Spring Garden&#8221; on the front cover. In the above photo, Pamela is shown holding the issue featuring her beautiful artwork, in an equally beautiful setting!<br><br><strong>About the artist:<\/strong> <br><br>Pamela Sztybel has won fellowships to the Santa Fe Art Institute, the Vermont Studio Center and the Scuola Grafica in Venice, Italy. She has served on the board of the Vermont Studio Center and on the Art Collection Committee of the New School University. Sztybel has been a visiting artist at The American Academy in Rome, and a teacher at the Scuola Internazionale di Grafica. She has taught at Connecticut College, West Liberty State College, Long Beach Island Foundation for the Arts, Claremont Graduate University and The Huntington Library. She has had solo shows in New York at Spanierman Gallery, Wickiser Gallery and Jill Newhouse Gallery.<\/p>\n<style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{padding-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-right:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-bottom:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-left:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col,.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col:before{border-top-left-radius:0px;border-top-right-radius:0px;border-bottom-right-radius:0px;border-bottom-left-radius:0px;}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-sm, 1rem);}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col > .aligncenter{width:100%;}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{background-color:#c2d9fa;}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col:before{opacity:0.3;}.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a{position:relative;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kadence-column19739_45f9a9-1a > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Literature as refuge, plus much more as we continue to share issue highlights throughout our 25th anniversary year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":10524,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[270],"tags":[272,25,264],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-issue-highlights","tag-blog","tag-issue36","tag-weekly-reads"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue Highlights<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue Highlights<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 36<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Weekly Reads<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 36<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Weekly Reads<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 7 days ago","modified":"Updated 7 days ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 18, 2026","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 18, 2026 4:56 pm","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026 4:58 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","tpgb_featured_images":{"full":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png",750,750,false],"tp-image-grid":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-700x700.png",700,700,true],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36-300x300.png",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png",750,750,false],"large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png",750,750,false],"default":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/the-plus-addons-for-block-editor\/assets\/images\/tpgb-placeholder.jpg"},"tpgb_post_meta_info":{"get_date":"September 18, 2026","get_modified_date":"September 18, 2026","category_list":{"category":[{"term_id":270,"name":"Issue Highlights","slug":"issue-highlights","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":270,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":36,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[{"term_id":272,"name":"Blog","slug":"blog","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":272,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":43,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":25,"name":"Issue 36","slug":"issue36","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":25,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":17,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":264,"name":"Weekly Reads","slug":"weekly-reads","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":264,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":60,"filter":"raw"}],"post_format":false},"author_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/","author_email":"irenzamp@scarletmail.rutgers.edu","author_website":"","author_description":"","author_facebook":"","author_twitter":"","author_instagram":"","author_role":["editor"],"author_firstname":"Irene","author_lastname":"Zampetoulas","user_login":"irenezamp","comment_count":0,"post_likes":0,"post_views":0},"tpgb_post_category":{"category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/\" alt=\"Issue Highlights\"  class=\"category-issue-highlights\">Issue Highlights<\/a> ","post_tag":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/blog\/\" alt=\"Blog\"  class=\"post_tag-blog\">Blog<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue36\/\" alt=\"Issue 36\"  class=\"post_tag-issue36\">Issue 36<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/weekly-reads\/\" alt=\"Weekly Reads\"  class=\"post_tag-weekly-reads\">Weekly Reads<\/a> "},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14166,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-02\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":0},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 2 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"January 23, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14304,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-04\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":1},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 4 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"February 7, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 4","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14999,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-10-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":2},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 10 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"March 20, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 10","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14212,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-03-highlights\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":3},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 3 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"January 30, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14572,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-5-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":4},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 5 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"February 8, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 5","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/05.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/05.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/05.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/05.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15098,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-12-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":19739,"position":5},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 12 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"April 3, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19739","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19739"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19866,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19739\/revisions\/19866"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19739"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":4866,"date":"2026-09-18T02:35:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-18T02:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=4866"},"modified":"2026-09-18T17:30:27","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T17:30:27","slug":"the-funeral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/nonfiction\/the-funeral\/","title":{"rendered":"The Funeral"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id4866_538bb4-7c alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column4866_70f240-f7\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id4866_0504da-ea alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column4866_03f959-11\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"750\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33.png\" alt=\"Issue 33 Finding Home\" class=\"wp-image-10521 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33.png 750w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column4866_3abbab-99\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">The Funeral<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Alexander Schuhr<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#cfdfd2;font-size:12px\">nonfiction<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading4866_bef1d3-4f wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading4866_bef1d3-4f\">Tonton Charles was not a great man. He had not led an inspirational life. In fact, he had spent little of it sober. This he had in common with my father, though my father was lucky enough not to see death coming. He just collapsed one day, fell into a coma, and never woke up. My father was only forty-five, but his body had been aged by years of excessive drinking.<br><br>Such merciful ignorance was not granted to Tonton Charles. He watched his death approaching and had to bear the full burden of those wasted years.<br><br>He reacted with spite. Spite towards his wife, Mama Yvette, who stayed by his side during his final hours, no more appreciated than during the years of their marriage. Spite towards his sister, Mama Fabienne, who had offered him shelter and care, forgiving past ingratitude, disrespect, and insults. Even after his voice had left him, he would stare at them hatefully, angry about the life he had led, malevolently envious of those who would continue living. His death would not be greater than his life had been.<br><br>I had met Tonton Charles a few times before\u2014I called him Tonton because he was Manouchka\u2019s uncle. I had visited Gabon once before, but this small Central African nation had become my home, when Manouchka and I moved here a few months ago to get married. I am German and had spent most of my life in Europe. Manouchka was raised in Gabon before her college education had let her abroad, and to me. She was familiar with the local customs, and I relied on her guidance to adjust to this environment that was still new and foreign to me.<br><br>When Manouchka had told me that Tonton Charles would be recuperating at her mother\u2019s house in Libreville after his hospitalization, I was surprised.\u00a0 I knew that the relationship between Tonton Charles and Mama Fabienne had been tense, to say the least. He had rarely visited the house for years, although Mama Yvette worked as a maid for Mama Fabienne.<br><br>When Manouchka and I entered the room, Tonton Charles sat on the bed, dressed in his pajamas, looking miserable; he had just arrived from the hospital. The room was hardly furnished, just a bed, closet, two chairs. A separate bathroom was the only additional comfort. Mama Yvette was unpacking his suitcase.<br><br>Manouchka greeted him and asked, &#8220;<i>Comment vas-tu<\/i>, Tonton?\u201d<br><br>\u201c<i>Je suis malade<\/i>,\u201d he answered laconically. He looked confused when he shook my hand, with a weak, loose grip.<br><br>\u201c<i>Le mari de Manouchka<\/i>,\u201d explained Mama Yvette, and the confusion on his face turned into vague recognition. We exchanged our \u201c<i>Bonjours<\/i>\u201d and that was the last time I spoke to him.<br><br>Over the next few weeks, his condition worsened. It was hard to say how much of his illness was physical. The doctors had ordered strict abstinence, with the result that his weakness was accompanied by sudden alcohol deprivation. He refused to eat. Often, Mama Fabienne had to force-feed her estranged brother, a task that came with a hint of sadistic pleasure when he resisted too violently. Manouchka\u2019s older brother, Dave, would have to grab his head and help force food into his mouth.<br><br>Tonton Charles became increasingly reluctant to move at all. Instead of going to the bathroom, he would relieve himself on the mattresses. Occasionally, I heard Dave shouting, \u201c<i>Il faut que tu mange<\/i>, Tonton.\u201d When he had the energy, Tonton Charles would scream back. I never returned to his room after my first visit. Initially, this was because I did not want to subject myself to the moods of an ill-tempered man suffering from withdrawal. After a while, however, I became aware that I also wanted to avoid the proximity of approaching death.<br><br>Once, four weeks after his arrival, somebody had left the door to his room open. I saw him lying on the bed\u2014completely still, maybe sleeping. He had never been fat, but his weight loss was dramatic. His legs had turned into skinny, fragile sticks. His ribs were merely covered by a thin layer of skin. His closed eyes were deeply sunken in their sockets. His metamorphosis was even more shocking for me, as I had not seen him since the day of his arrival.<br><br>One day, I had just finished my morning shower when Manouchka entered to tell me that Tonton Charles had returned to the hospital in the early morning. In the evening, she received a phone call from Mama Fabienne, who was still at the hospital.<br><br>\u201cThe medicine hasn\u2019t worked,\u201d she said calmly, after hanging up the phone. \u201cHe has cancer of the liver.\u201d Silence followed. It was not necessary to say more. We both knew that he would not leave the hospital alive.<br><br>After a while I asked, \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d<br><br>\u201cI feel sorry for my mom,\u201d she responded. \u201cShe gave him a house to live in; she gave his wife a job. But this guy has never been grateful. On the contrary, he\u2019s always tried to exploit her, grabbing everything he can to buy booze. Now my mom will have to pay again. Everybody will expect that she will take care of his funeral.<br><br>No longer could I ignore that death was coming. Every morning, Mama Fabienne went to the hospital. Every night, Mama Yvette would stay there. Every day, we waited for the call to announce that Tonton Charles had died. This was the second time I had waited for a man\u2019s sure death to come. The first time had been when I was thirteen years old and my father had fallen into a coma. It had been just as ugly, then as now, waiting for his life to end. The same ugly awareness that a man who had not lived well enough to look back proudly would never get the chance to make things right. The same ugly confusion because the sadness that I was expected to feel was not there, only a nameless uneasiness. The same ugly guilt from my secret wish to get it over with. The same ugly fear of a similar end for myself.<br><br>The phone call came in the early evening. Tonton Charles had refused last rites. He\u2019d died in anger. Mama Fabienne told Manouchka to prepare the house for the mourners. Manouchka called all the family members in Libreville while Dave and I fetched two dozen white garden chairs from the attic and distributed them over the balcony, living room, and patio. We filled two buckets with water and cleaned off the thick layers of dust, working rapidly before the first mourners arrived.<br><br>I was on the balcony still washing chairs, soaking wet from the water, my sweat, and the humid Central African November night, when suddenly I heard the two women crying. They cried and screamed as if they were in agony, as if the grave feeling of irreplaceable loss had robbed their senses. The weeping women entered a room on the second floor, and Manouchka asked Dave and me to bring them mattresses from the attic. \u201cCan we really enter that room?\u201d I asked, appalled by the idea of placing mattresses around these crying women. \u201cAt the moment you still can,\u201d she answered, \u201cbut it will be the crying room for the rest of the week.\u00a0 More women, including Mama Yvette, will stay in there. Since you are a <i>Mogoy<\/i> it is probably better if you stay out after their arrival.<br><br>I was relieved that my status as in-law would allow me to keep out. The mere thought of entering the exclusive realm of mourning women made me nervous.<br><br>When Dave and I brought in the mattresses, the two women, who had appeared so devastated moments ago, seemed surprisingly calm. One of them even smiled at me. When Mama Yvette came home from the hospital, Tonton Charles\u2019s daughter led her silently to the crying room, where she promptly lay down on one of the mattresses.<br><br>\u201cShe must not speak until he\u2019s buried,\u201d explained Manouchka. \u201cShe will remain silent and move only to go to the bathroom. Tonton Charles\u2019s daughter will wait outside and make sure that she does not wash herself more than is absolutely necessary\u2014only the minimum of physical hygiene.\u201d She paused, then added, \u201cBy the way, the hygiene part also applies to the rest of us.\u201d<br><br>\u201cYou mean we can\u2019t wash for a week?\u201d I asked anxiously.<br><br>\u201cWe can cheat a little and shower,\u201d she said, \u201cbut no perfume, no deodorant. We must wear the mourning outfit every day; we can only change the underwear.\u201d The mourning outfits had already been prepared, days before Tonton Charles died. It was yellow- and red-patterned cloth, tailored into shirts for men and sarongs for women to tie around their waists.<br><br>\u201cOh, and you mustn\u2019t shave until he\u2019s buried,\u201d Manouchka added.<br><br>Now I was really annoyed. Already I had not been shaving for a week and was feeling uncomfortably scruffy. I wished she\u2019d informed me of that rule before the first mourners arrived, so I could have snuck in once last shave.<br><br>By midnight, the house was full of people. The women went straight to the crying room. Most of the men gathered on the patio and the balcony, sitting on the newly cleaned chairs, exchanging memories of Tonton Charles. Nobody left. People slept on the chairs, or on the extra mattresses and blankets which had been placed around the house. Manouchka and I slept in our bedroom, and Dave slept in his. Mama Fabienne, however, applied the funeral customs more strictly. Her bedroom stayed locked and she slept with other mourners on the balcony. Over the next few days, more than fifty people were staying permanently in the house to participate in the mourning. Dozens of others visited each day to offer condolences. Most gave Mama Fabienne some financial contribution for the funeral expenses.<br><br>Several times each day, the women gathered in the crying room. They cried together, in the same intense, unrestrained way that the two first women had. Afterward, most would leave the crying room to help with cleaning and cooking for the many mourners. Manouchka was so caught up in helping her mother organize everything that she wasn\u2019t able to give much thought to the very reason for the mourning. During the week, however, the workload became lighter. Her awareness grew, and so did her sadness. She had expected to be unaffected by her uncle\u2019s death, but staying in the midst of the mourning community was enough to prove her wrong. After four days, she joined the other women in the crying room.<br><br>Tonton Charles was from a small village in the Haut-Ogooue\u0301 province. He had spent most of his life there. His ancestors had been buried in Haut-Ogooue\u0301, and Haut-Ogooue\u0301 was the natural choice for his gravesite. Five days after his death, we left Libreville to travel across Gabon to Franceville, the regional capital close to the Congo border. Getting the entourage of fifteen people and the dead body to Franceville required two planes.<br><br>The long time without shaving had left me rather hairy, and my mourning shirt looked like I\u2019d slept in it for several days.<br><br>\u201cLooks like your clothes could need some ironing,\u201d joked Dave, visibly satisfied with his remark. Indeed, he was in perfect shape and certainly not in need of a shave. His outfit was of the finest cuts and noblest brands, and he smelled of elegant French fragrances.<br><br>I tried not to show my annoyance, but Manouchka could not hold back her anger about his ignorance. \u201cTradition forbids shaving and ironing,\u201d she snapped. \u201cActually, none of us is supposed to change before the body is buried.\u201d Dave shrugged and did not respond. He avoided us during the one-hour flight to Franceville.<br><br>It was at the airport in Franceville that I saw Mama Yvette, as she was deboarding the other plane. I had not seen her for the five days she was in the crying room. After hardly moving for nearly a week, she could not walk without support. She was staring at me, with an expression of madness in her eyes, her hair sticking out in all directions. I worried that she might have lost her mind.<br><br>After a forty-five-minute ride through the Haut-Ogooue\u0301 countryside, we reached Mama Fabienne\u2019s house at the edge of Franceville. Nearly a hundred mourners had already gathered under a large tent in the front yard. Sofas and armchairs had been brought out to the patio. Inside, the now bare living room had been turned into a crying room. The coffin was at the back of the room. To its left, Mama Yvette was sitting on the floor. Sitting to its right was Grandma Lekogo, the mother of Tonton Charles and Mama Fabienne. Manouchka and I chose one of the sofas on the patio to sit down.<br><br>Many mourners were from small villages and rural areas. Most were poorer than the more bourgeois mourners in Libreville, and more deeply rooted in the Obamba tradition.<br><br>\u201cOut here in the jungle,\u201d Dave said to me, \u201cpeople are more native.\u201d<br><br>I could see Manouchka trying to conceal her anger. Dave had spent his high school and college years in France with only short summer visits to urban Libreville, so his lack of familiarity with the Obamba cultural heritage was not too surprising. His permanent return to Gabon had been a half year ago but the extent of self-imposed distance was truly astonishing. His interpretation of the events was European, all too European. Of course, his identity as a Gabonese man, an African man, a black man, could not possibly impose an inherent obligation on him to understand things any better than I did. To some extent, all the younger mourners at the funeral, including Manouchka, were learning about the Obamba tradition that had been nearly obliterated by colonization. However, Dave seemed to see things with the eyes of the colonizer. \u201cI\u2019m more French than Gabonese,\u201d he often announced, while his French girlfriend stood by\u2014proud agreement shining in her eyes. Almost fifty years after the formal independence, Europe was still colonizing the African mind.<br><br>On the night before the burial, the Ndjobi dancers\u2014five men and five women\u2014arrived just before dusk. The front yard was cleared and a large, slender drum, about six feet high, was placed between the house and the tent. Some of the dancers tied raffia around their waists, others reached into their bags and produced traditional rattles. Dozens of half-liter bottles of Regab beer were placed in proximity to the drum to keep the dancers going during the long night. One of the dancers, a guy in his mid-twenties, in shorts and a worn-out red tank top, climbed on a stool and started banging the drum with a fast rhythm.<br><br>By the time the Ndjobi ritual began, it had become dark. A few men lit a fire in a fireplace next to the gate, which had been locked for the night. A glow lay over the front yard, highlighting drum and dancers. Only the treetops of the nearby forest remained visible beyond the high gate walls.<br><br>Some of the guests, Dave among them, had left earlier to have a few drinks at a local <i>maquis<\/i>. They were still outside when the gate was locked. Consequently, they would spend the night in their cars outside the gate, as the sound of the drum and the singing of the Ndjobi dancers made their knocking and shouting inaudible. Everybody else tried to secure an acceptable spot for the night. A few people slept on chairs under the tent. Others shared the sofas outside the house, facing the front yard.<br><br>I was glad that Manouchka and I had secured our spot on a sofa in the afternoon. Unlike in Libreville, we would now strictly adhere to the traditional rules and sleep outside with the others. While the sofa was certainly more comfortable than any chair, it was not nearly as comfortable as our bed in Libreville. I could not stretch my legs, because some guy was occupying the other half of the sofa, so I crouched the rest of my body into an embryonic position, gratefully accepting Manouchka\u2019s offer to rest my head on her lap.<br><br>The night was hot and sleeping so close to the ground emphasized the heat. Sweat ran down my back, gluing my shirt to my body. The mosquitoes became unbearable and we tried several times to adjust our position. Finally, I got comfortable, sitting up on the sofa with my legs stretched out on the arms of a chair in front of me. That the chair was already occupied by a woman was unproblematic, as she was deeply asleep and did not mind my feet.<br><br>All the exhaustion that had mounted during the day came over me, but my desire to sleep was replaced by the wish to observe the spectacle that was taking place in front of my eyes. Illuminated by the fire and slightly intoxicated by the beer, the Ndjobi dancers performed with frantic intensity. The man on the stool beat the drum with raw, wild energy, singing in a high-pitched monotony that frequently culminated in sudden yelling. The dancers circling the drum shook rattles and rotated their shoulders and hips ecstatically, causing the raffia around their waists to jump up and down in the rhythm dictated by the drumbeat. Mourners had started to join the dance. Old women in their seventies and eighties joined the group, dancing with tiny steps around the drum.&lt;<br><br>The darkened world beyond the gates was locked out. Everything before this moment turned into a faint memory as I became completely mesmerized by the ritual. The singing, the shouting, the <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dancing, the jumping raffia, the rattling, and the dominating drumbeat became a powerful force that made a detached gaze impossible. I was overpowered by the fierce ecstasy of the drum and the dancers. I felt pulled into their trance, becoming part of it, drowning in it.<br><br>I was not aware that I had drifted off to sleep. The music penetrated my dreamless sleep and it all turned into a raw, dominant force that surrounded me, covered me, shook me. The shaking became more forceful and I finally opened my eyes. A woman was bending over us, shaking Manouchka\u2019s shoulder and passing the movement on to me.<br><br>The woman said something in Obamba and Manouchka got up. Without saying one word, she grabbed her camera bag under the sofa and went into the house. I saw more women getting up and disappearing inside the house. I found myself alone on the sofa. It was still dark, but dawn was approaching. The contours of the treetops behind the walls were already visible. The sky had turned from jet-black to dark blue, a blue which became lighter toward the horizon.\u00a0<br><br>The drummer on his stool continued to perform ferociously. The speed and volume of the drumbeat had grown, and were more intense than ever. I arose slowly, and walked out to the front yard, avoiding the area around the drum. I did not dare follow the women into the house, though I did try to peek into the front door.<br><br>Suddenly, Mama Yvette came out of the house, walking stiffly, supported by two female Ndjobi dancers. She was still staring, with the same mad expression in her eyes. Again, I worried that she had lost her mind. The two women pulled her towards the drum. The other women from the house followed, many with their faces covered with white makeup. Manouchka walked next to them, filming with her video camera. I could have sworn that she was wearing white makeup too, but she would later deny it.<br><br>The women began to dance. The two Ndjobi dancers pulled Mama Yvette forcefully, almost violently, towards the drum. Due to the stiffness of her limbs she could only take tiny, clumsy steps forward, but the dancers kept pulling her. They made her throw her arms in the air, made her wave them, following the mad rhythm dictated by the drum. The group of women circled the drum, dancing, pulling and shoving Mama Yvette. After the drum had been fully circled, they led Mama Yvette back into the house. Once the women had disappeared the drumbeat finally stopped.<br><br>I returned to the sofa, my mind numb and exhausted like a muscle after too much exercise. The sun was gradually lightening the gray morning mist. Twenty minutes later Manouchka came back. \u201cWhat was that all about?\u201d I asked her.<br><br>\u201cAt dawn the spirits go to sleep,\u201d she explained. \u201cTonton Charles will be buried today and they needed to cut the link between his spirit and the world of the living.\u201d<br><br>\u201cWhy did they make Mama Yvette dance?\u201d I asked.<br><br>\u201cShe shows his spirit that she\u2019s mourning him. And it\u2019s most important for her to cut the link, as his spirit might be tempted to take her with him.\u201d<br><br>The rest of the morning was not very eventful. The only excitement was provided by a remote relative, who had stolen too much of the beer from the dancers. He was drunk and terribly upset, for reasons that only he understood.<br><br>Dave ambled over, after an uncomfortable night in a car. \u201cI heard it was quite interesting last night,\u201d he said. \u201cToo bad I missed it. It\u2019s okay though. The really big party will be tonight, and you best believe, I\u2019m not gonna miss that!\u201d<br><br>The Catholic priest arrived around noon and held a brief mass in the front yard. The coffin was carried by the sons of Tonton Charles along with Dave and a few other men.\u00a0 They placed it in the trunk of a car and we set off for the cemetery of Franceville. At the gravesite, Manouchka filmed while Mama Fabienne stood next to the coffin and started her speech in French. Her voice was trembling when she said that \u201cdespite all our difficulties you will always be my brother.\u201d She struggled to keep a firm voice, but managed to repeat the same speech in Obamba.<br><br>When we returned to the house the priest asked us to wash our hands with holy water, and the burial was officially concluded. Preparations began for the evening feast that would celebrate the end of a week of mourning and thank all the people who had contributed. I had not brought a razor to Franceville, so I would continue looking wild and hairy for one more day. However, I could finally take a shower. The only shower in the house was too small for me and lacked hot water. A tiny white lizard observed me the entire time. Nevertheless, it was by far the best shower I had ever taken!<br><br>The celebration in the evening did not turn out to be the big party that Dave had been hoping for. Everybody was exhausted and many people fell asleep early. The alcohol, which had led the dancers to ecstatic heights the night before, now just made them drunk and uncoordinated.<br><br>In the early morning, we returned to Libreville and I exchanged a few words with Mama Yvette \u2014my first words to her in a week. She had recovered better than I had thought possible. The madness in her eyes was gone. Her mourning, though, would continue for another year. She shaved her head and would keep it shaved throughout this year.<br><br>I took my chance to shave, while Manouchka briefed the maids about the events in Franceville. Afterwards, I lay down on the bed and thought of the past week. The dancers, the drum, the singing, and the dance of the women at dawn would stay with me forever. I thought of my father\u2019s burial on a chilly, gray December day, many years ago in Munich. I thought of the handful of mourners\u2014one sister and brother-in-law, three sons, two ex-wives, one of them with her new lover. I remembered how I had fought not to shake in the cold, so nobody would think I couldn\u2019t handle the situation. I remembered how the priest had shaken everybody\u2019s hands but mine\u2014apparently considering my wide black jeans and my black leather jacket (the only black outfit in my closet) inappropriate, and me some sort of juvenile delinquent. I remembered how grim and appalling the whole event had felt.&amp;<br><br>What a contrast to the funeral ceremony in rural Gabon. The week-long communal process had made us mourn Tonton Charles not only ritually but also with growing emotional sincerity. The latter was something that many of us had not expected to feel. This way of approaching death avoided much of the emptiness, and the ugliness that I had felt during my previous encounter with death. Regretfully this is a way that many young Gabonese people will never appreciate, for they uncritically adopt the foreign assessment of their cultural inferiority. Tonton Charles was not a great man, but his community had honored his memory with true greatness.<br><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-132ff5f5\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 33<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id4866_476471-d5 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column4866_eeeb0e-12\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-33\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-33\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-1 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/death\/\" rel=\"tag\">Death<\/a><span class=\"wp-block-post-terms__separator\">, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-33\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 33<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id4866_538bb4-7c > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id4866_538bb4-7c > .kt-row-column-wrap) > 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.kt-inside-inner-col:before{opacity:0.3;}.kadence-column4866_eeeb0e-12{position:relative;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column4866_eeeb0e-12 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kadence-column4866_eeeb0e-12 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col,.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col:before{border-top-left-radius:0px;border-top-right-radius:0px;border-bottom-right-radius:0px;border-bottom-left-radius:0px;}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-sm, 1rem);}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col > .aligncenter{width:100%;}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col:before{opacity:0.3;}.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f{position:relative;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kadence-column4866_90b7e2-0f > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Alexander Schuhr.<br \/>\n&#8220;Tonton Charles was not a great man. He had not led an inspirational life. In fact, he had spent little of it sober.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":10521,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"essential-blocks-fullwidth-template.php","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[171,71],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-4866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nonfiction","tag-death","tag-issue-33"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Danielle Ofri","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/danielle\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Nonfiction<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Nonfiction<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Death<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 33<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Death<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 33<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 1 week ago","modified":"Updated 6 days ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 18, 2026","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 18, 2026 2:35 am","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026 5:30 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","tpgb_featured_images":{"full":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33.png",750,750,false],"tp-image-grid":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-700x700.png",700,700,true],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33-300x300.png",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33.png",750,750,false],"large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/33.png",750,750,false],"default":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/the-plus-addons-for-block-editor\/assets\/images\/tpgb-placeholder.jpg"},"tpgb_post_meta_info":{"get_date":"September 18, 2026","get_modified_date":"September 18, 2026","category_list":{"category":[{"term_id":6,"name":"Nonfiction","slug":"nonfiction","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":6,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":107,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[{"term_id":171,"name":"Death","slug":"death","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":171,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":5,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":71,"name":"Issue 33","slug":"issue-33","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":71,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"Finding Home: Family &amp; Connections","parent":0,"count":20,"filter":"raw"}],"post_format":false},"author_name":"Danielle Ofri","author_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/danielle\/","author_email":"dofri@blreview.org","author_website":"","author_description":"","author_facebook":"","author_twitter":"","author_instagram":"","author_role":["administrator","mpch-memberpress-coach"],"author_firstname":"Danielle","author_lastname":"Ofri","user_login":"Danielle","comment_count":0,"post_likes":0,"post_views":0},"tpgb_post_category":{"category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" alt=\"Nonfiction\"  class=\"category-nonfiction\">Nonfiction<\/a> ","post_tag":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/death\/\" alt=\"Death\"  class=\"post_tag-death\">Death<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-33\/\" alt=\"Issue 33\"  class=\"post_tag-issue-33\">Issue 33<\/a> "},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3477,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/fiction\/my-uncle-deserves-chekhov\/","url_meta":{"origin":4866,"position":0},"title":"My Uncle Deserves Chekhov\u00a0","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"June 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"by Robert Treu. \u201c'Every family has one,' my sister Joyce liked to say. 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#1\u2019s plastic toilet lid shifts under Manolo\u2019s weight as he balances his left ankle on his right knee, careful so his leg doesn\u2019t slide off his sweatpants.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Fiction&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Fiction","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 38 2020 Prize winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 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in Medicine: Navigating Uncertainty through Art and Literature"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tickettailor.com\/events\/bellevueliteraryreview\/2061300\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-1024x576.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-18320 lazyload\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-150x84.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-370x208.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-800x450.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-20x11.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Creativity-in-Medicine-Event-Graphic-740x416.png 740w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Uncertainty is an unavoidable reality in medicine \u2014experienced by patients, caregivers, and healthcare professionals alike. In this engaging online workshop led by the award-winning <em>Bellevue Literary Review<\/em>, we&#8217;ll explore how poetry, stories, and visual art can help us make sense of medicine&#8217;s complexities. Open to all, this event blends creativity and reflection to grapple with ambiguity and the unknown. Discover how art and literature can be accessible guides for navigating the often unsettling waters of illness, caregiving, and healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What to expect:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Explore how art and literature can help us wrestle with our lived experiences of uncertainty<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Learn observation and reflection skills through engagement with <em>BLR<\/em> poetry, stories, and cover art<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Tap into your own creativity through expressive exercises led by the <em>BLR<\/em> team<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:23px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer is-style-dots\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left has-background\" style=\"background-color:#c2d9fa\"><strong>Details:<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Thursday, September 24, at 7:00 p.m. ET<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Live, online<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Open to all, no experience necessary<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"advgb-dyn-d5d4bad4\">Cost: $25<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-button  root-eb-button-gaaov\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-button-gaaov \"><div class=\"eb-button-wrapper eb-button-alignment eb-button-gaaov\"><div class=\"eb-button\"><div class=\"eb-button-inner-wrapper \"><a class=\"eb-button-anchor  \" href=\"https:\/\/www.tickettailor.com\/events\/bellevueliteraryreview\/2061300\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Register<\/strong><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph\"><em>This event is presented as part of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healingartsnewyork.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">UNGA Healing Arts Week<\/a>, a New York City-wide celebration of arts and health during the 81st Session of the UN General Assembly, produced by the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.jameelartshealthlab.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jameel Arts &amp; Health Lab<\/a> in collaboration with the World Health Organization.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer is-style-dots\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">About the Facilitators<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text is-stacked-on-mobile advgb-dyn-39046bc6\" style=\"grid-template-columns:40% auto\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-18242 size-full lazyload\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Annie-Robison-square-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Annie Robinson<\/strong> is an educator, writer, artist, and full-spectrum doula with nearly 20 years of experience working in healthcare. She earned a Master of Science in Narrative Medicine from Columbia University in 2014. Over the last decade, Annie has designed and delivered arts-based education to thousands of clinicians and clinicians-in-training in New York City. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.annierobinsonwellness.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.annierobinsonwellness.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:23px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer is-style-dots\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text is-stacked-on-mobile\" style=\"grid-template-columns:40% auto\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-18246 size-full lazyload\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Danielle-Ofri-square-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Danielle Ofri<\/strong> is a founder and Editor-in-Chief of <em>BLR<\/em>. She is a primary care internist at Bellevue Hospital and a clinical professor of medicine at NYU. Her writing appears in the <em>New York Times, The New Yorker,<\/em> the<em> New England Journal of Medicine<\/em>, and elsewhere. A Guggenheim fellow, Ofri is the author of six books about life in medicine, including <em>When We Do Harm: A Doctor Confronts Medical Error<\/em>. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.danielleofri.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.danielleofri.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:23px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer is-style-dots\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Explore how poetry, stories, and visual art can help us make sense of medicine&#8217;s complexities in this new online workshop. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18317,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[253,163,254],"tags":[],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-18173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-events","category-upcoming"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Stacy Bodziak","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/stacy\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/creativity-in-medicine-info-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/events\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Events<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/events\/upcoming\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Upcoming Events<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Events<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Upcoming Events<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 1 week ago","modified":"Updated 7 days ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 17, 2026","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 17, 2026 3:35 pm","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026 5:02 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2026","get_modified_date":"September 18, 2026","category_list":{"category":[{"term_id":253,"name":"Blog","slug":"blog","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":253,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":43,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":163,"name":"Events","slug":"events","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":163,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":45,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":254,"name":"Upcoming Events","slug":"upcoming","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":254,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":163,"count":3,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":false,"post_format":false},"author_name":"Stacy Bodziak","author_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/stacy\/","author_email":"Stacy@blreview.org","author_website":"","author_description":"","author_facebook":"","author_twitter":"","author_instagram":"","author_role":["administrator","mpch-memberpress-coach"],"author_firstname":"Stacy","author_lastname":"Bodziak","user_login":"Stacy","comment_count":0,"post_likes":0,"post_views":0},"tpgb_post_category":{"category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/\" alt=\"Blog\"  class=\"category-blog\">Blog<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/events\/\" alt=\"Events\"  class=\"category-events\">Events<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/events\/upcoming\/\" alt=\"Upcoming Events\"  class=\"category-upcoming\">Upcoming Events<\/a> "},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19121,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/events\/art-and-medicine-fundraiser\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":0},"title":"Art and Medicine: Supporting Compassion Through Creativity","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"August 31, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Enjoy cocktails, conversation, and community, while supporting BLR's Art in Medicine program.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18249,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/private\/art-medicine-fundraiser\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":1},"title":"Art and Medicine: Supporting Compassion Through Creativity","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"June 15, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Enjoy cocktails, conversation, and community, while supporting BLR's Art in Medicine program.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Private&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Private","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/private\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Art-and-Medicine-Info.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4146,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/foreword\/issue-10-foreword\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":2},"title":"Issue 10 Foreword","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"January 1, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"This year the BLR sponsored its first literary contest. These entries expanded our understanding of what medicine gives to (and takes from) individuals.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Foreword&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Foreword","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/foreword\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 10","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19739,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-36-highlights\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":3},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 36 highlights","author":"Irene Zampetoulas","date":"September 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Literature as refuge, plus much more as we continue to share issue highlights throughout our 25th anniversary year.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 36 2019 Prize Winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/36.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7508,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/foreword\/issue-26-foreword\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":4},"title":"Issue 26 Foreword","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"October 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Should I be looking for the poetry of Jonas Salk? The short stories of Marie Curie?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Foreword&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Foreword","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/foreword\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 26 2014 Prize Winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/25.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/25.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/25.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/25.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11730,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/foreword\/issue-32-foreword\/","url_meta":{"origin":18173,"position":5},"title":"Issue 32 Foreword","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"December 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"From a couple\u2019s bedroom to a bed in the ICU, these works of literature teach us that writing is not done solely to share oneself with others, or to commemorate a moment. Rather, great literature is meant to help us understand how it is to be another human.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Foreword&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Foreword","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/foreword\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 32 2017 Prize Winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/32.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/32.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/32.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/32.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/creativity-in-medicine-info.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18173"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19665,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18173\/revisions\/19665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18173"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=18173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":19804,"date":"2026-09-17T14:23:50","date_gmt":"2026-09-17T14:23:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19804"},"modified":"2026-09-18T17:05:32","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T17:05:32","slug":"coming-soon-blrs-25th-anniversary-issue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/news\/recent-news\/coming-soon-blrs-25th-anniversary-issue\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming soon! BLR&#8217;s 25th anniversary issue"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">The first issue of <em>Bellevue Literary Review <\/em>was published 25 years ago, in the fall of 2001. And each year since, we&#8217;ve had the privilege of putting together two issues of incredible poems, stories, and essays for our readers. It&#8217;s still a thrill to know that a new <em>BLR<\/em> is on the horizon, and that we get to share it with you.<br><br><strong>And this one is special: it&#8217;s our 25th anniversary issue!<br><\/strong><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-tpgb-tp-image tpgb-image tpgb-block-520a_19804\"><figure class=\"tpgb-figure\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-300x300.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"tpgb-img-inner wp-image-19823 lazyload\" loading=\"lazy\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption class=\"tpgb-image-caption\">Cover art: Cityscape by Romare Bearden<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><br><br>Along with a stellar mix of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry (check out the list of authors below), the anniversary issue of <em>BLR<\/em> includes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li style=\"font-size:16px\">a roundtable about how writing intersects with health, illness, and healing, featuring reflections by Edward Hirsch, Sarah Ruhl, Susannah Cahalan, Porochista Khakpour, Theresa Brown, and Damon Tweedy<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:16px\">an inspiring essay by Meghan O\u2019Rourke that shares the wealth of poems that sustained her through her own illness (and that will appear in her forthcoming anthology,&nbsp;<em>The Story of the Body)<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:16px\">a section of recommendations from some of&nbsp;<em>BLR<\/em>\u2019s stalwart book reviewers, who offer you bucket lists of books, poems, and even single lines to turn to when you need solace or support<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:16px\">a color insert highlighting Art in Public Hospitals, with works curated from the NYC Health + Hospitals,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nychealthandhospitals.org\/artsinmedicine\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Arts in Medicine<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/a>collection.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-spacer aligncenter kt-block-spacer-19804_3a527e-3f\"><div class=\"kt-block-spacer kt-block-spacer-halign-center\"><hr class=\"kt-divider\"\/><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">You can<strong>&nbsp;pre-order&nbsp;<\/strong>your copy now and be among the first readers to receive it, hot off the press!&nbsp;We&#8217;re thrilled to share this issue with you.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-thb-accent-background-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-51\/\">Pre-order the issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-spacer aligncenter kt-block-spacer-19804_c30e0a-e1\"><div class=\"kt-block-spacer kt-block-spacer-halign-center\"><hr class=\"kt-divider\"\/><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center has-background\" style=\"background-color:#c2d9fa\">Featuring writing by:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\"><strong>Fiction:<\/strong>\u270f\ufe0f Wilson Comey, Catherine Treu Ehmann, Griffin Gudaitis, Pitoyo Hartono, PJ Henry, Sarah Juma, Susie Yeden Kim, Zibusiso Mpofu, Scarlett Diaz Power, Yan Ruan, Kaylie Saidin, Lisa Sardinas, Nadya Todorova, Becky Tuch<br><br><strong>Nonfiction <\/strong>\u270f\ufe0f Paul V. Brock, Mahru Elahi, Cheryl Jean Kelley, Kat Moore, Lisa Nikolidakis, Meghan O\u2019Rourke, Novi Zheng<br><br><strong>Poetry \u270f\ufe0f<\/strong> Anna Boughtwood, Marion Starling Boyer, Ari B. Cofer, Jan Donley, Cheryl Dyer, Taylor Franson-Thiel, Douglas Fritock, Mihan Han, Terence Hawes, Ken Hines, Peter Kaczmarczyk, Mubanga Kalimamukwento, Marianne Kunkel, R. Nikolas Macioci, Hannah McLeod, Ed Meek, Lucia Owen, Trystan Popish, Aaron Rabinowitz, Candice Reffe, Andrea Scarpino, Claire Scott, Prartho Sereno, Ursula Shepherd, Peggy Ann Tartt, Charles L. Templeton<br><br><strong>Roundtable Reflections<\/strong> \u270f\ufe0f Edward Hirsch, Sarah Ruhl, Susannah Cahalan, Porochista Khakpour, Theresa Brown, Damon Tweedy<br><br><strong>Book Reviewer Recommendations<\/strong> \u270f\ufe0f Rachel Hadas, Dante Di Stefano, Donna Baier Stein, Jack Coulehan, Peter Bricklebank, Monique Ferrell, Jane Mushabac, Amelia Christmas Gramling<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-spacer aligncenter kt-block-spacer-19804_a4764c-77\"><div class=\"kt-block-spacer kt-block-spacer-halign-center\"><hr class=\"kt-divider\"\/><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center has-background\" style=\"background-color:#c2d9fa\">About the cover artist<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">Cover artist\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/beardenfoundation.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Romare Bearden\u00a0<\/a><\/strong>(1911\u20131988) is best known for his vibrant collages that explore themes of African American life, combining painting, photography, and found materials. Born in Charlotte, North Carolina, and raised in Harlem, he drew inspiration from jazz, the Great Migration, Cubism, the rural South, the Harlem Renaissance, and urban neighborhoods.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-spacer aligncenter kt-block-spacer-19804_92d986-1c\"><div class=\"kt-block-spacer kt-block-spacer-halign-center\"><hr class=\"kt-divider\"\/><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center has-background\" style=\"background-color:#c2d9fa\">From the Foreword<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text is-stacked-on-mobile\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"800\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-19805 size-full lazyload\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers-225x300.jpeg 225w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers-150x200.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers-370x493.jpeg 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers-20x27.jpeg 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Danielle-Ofri-with-BLR-Covers-36x48.jpeg 36w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">&#8220;As I write this foreword, I\u2019m keenly aware that I was doing the exact same thing, twenty-five years ago, for the inaugural issue of&nbsp;Bellevue Literary Review. Of course, it was all terra incognita at the time\u2014everything from choosing the fonts and finding a printer to reading through the bounty of submissions and curating a balance of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction&#8230;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:16px\">I wrote the foreword to&nbsp;BLR&nbsp;Issue 1 while&nbsp;sitting in my clinic office at Bellevue Hospital. The poems, stories, and essays were laid out on the exam table&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-spacer aligncenter kt-block-spacer-19804_825988-73\"><div class=\"kt-block-spacer kt-block-spacer-halign-center\"><hr class=\"kt-divider\"\/><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-fe48e5de wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-thb-accent-background-color has-background wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-51\/\">Pre-order the issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n<style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_3a527e-3f .kt-block-spacer{height:23px;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_3a527e-3f .kt-divider{border-top-width:1px;height:1px;border-top-color:#eee;width:80%;border-top-style:solid;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_c30e0a-e1 .kt-block-spacer{height:23px;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_c30e0a-e1 .kt-divider{border-top-width:1px;height:1px;border-top-color:#eee;width:80%;border-top-style:solid;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_a4764c-77 .kt-block-spacer{height:23px;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_a4764c-77 .kt-divider{border-top-width:1px;height:1px;border-top-color:#eee;width:80%;border-top-style:solid;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_92d986-1c .kt-block-spacer{height:23px;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_92d986-1c .kt-divider{border-top-width:1px;height:1px;border-top-color:#eee;width:80%;border-top-style:solid;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_825988-73 .kt-block-spacer{height:23px;}.wp-block-kadence-spacer.kt-block-spacer-19804_825988-73 .kt-divider{border-top-width:1px;height:1px;border-top-color:#eee;width:80%;border-top-style:solid;}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Along with a stellar mix of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, the anniversary issue of BLR includes special features including an art insert and roundtable about writing and healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":19823,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[253,261,28],"tags":[317],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-news","category-recent-news","tag-issue-51"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/news\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">News<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/news\/recent-news\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Recent News<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Blog<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">News<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Recent News<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/news\/recent-news\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 51<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 51<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 1 week ago","modified":"Updated 6 days ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 17, 2026","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 17, 2026 2:23 pm","modified":"Updated on September 18, 2026 5:05 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","tpgb_featured_images":{"full":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51.png",1000,1000,false],"tp-image-grid":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-700x700.png",700,700,true],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-300x300.png",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51-768x768.png",768,768,true],"large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51.png",1000,1000,false],"default":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/the-plus-addons-for-block-editor\/assets\/images\/tpgb-placeholder.jpg"},"tpgb_post_meta_info":{"get_date":"September 17, 2026","get_modified_date":"September 18, 2026","category_list":{"category":[{"term_id":253,"name":"Blog","slug":"blog","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":253,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":43,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":261,"name":"News","slug":"news","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":261,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":81,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":28,"name":"Recent News","slug":"recent-news","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":28,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":261,"count":24,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[{"term_id":317,"name":"Issue 51","slug":"issue-51","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":317,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"}],"post_format":false},"author_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/","author_email":"irenzamp@scarletmail.rutgers.edu","author_website":"","author_description":"","author_facebook":"","author_twitter":"","author_instagram":"","author_role":["editor"],"author_firstname":"Irene","author_lastname":"Zampetoulas","user_login":"irenezamp","comment_count":0,"post_likes":0,"post_views":0},"tpgb_post_category":{"category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/\" alt=\"Blog\"  class=\"category-blog\">Blog<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/news\/\" alt=\"News\"  class=\"category-news\">News<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/news\/recent-news\/\" alt=\"Recent News\"  class=\"category-recent-news\">Recent News<\/a> ","post_tag":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-51\/\" alt=\"Issue 51\"  class=\"post_tag-issue-51\">Issue 51<\/a> "},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16388,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/foreword\/issue-50-foreword\/","url_meta":{"origin":19804,"position":0},"title":"Issue 50 Foreword","author":"Irene Zampetoulas","date":"May 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Danielle Ofri. \"Welcome to the 50th issue of Bellevue Literary Review! It seems hard to believe, but BLR is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. We certainly weren\u2019t thinking in terms of a silver jubilee back when this all started, with a wisp of an idea about creative writing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Foreword&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Foreword","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/foreword\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13933,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/blog\/highlights-from-2025\/","url_meta":{"origin":19804,"position":1},"title":"A Look Back: Highlights from 2025","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"December 31, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"As we get ready to step into 2026 \u2013 and launch BLR\u2019s 25th anniversary! \u2013 let\u2019s take a look back at what made 2025 such a special year.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Danielle-and-Saleem-in-Chicago-square.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Danielle-and-Saleem-in-Chicago-square.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Danielle-and-Saleem-in-Chicago-square.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14304,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-04\/","url_meta":{"origin":19804,"position":2},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 4 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"February 7, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 4","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/04.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17678,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-21-highlights\/","url_meta":{"origin":19804,"position":3},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 21 highlights","author":"Irene Zampetoulas","date":"June 5, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"A look back to our 10th anniversary, plus much more as we continue to share issue highlights throughout our 25th anniversary year.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 21 10th Anniversary","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/21.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/21.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/21.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/21.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14166,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/issue-highlights\/issue-02\/","url_meta":{"origin":19804,"position":4},"title":"BLR 25th anniversary ~~ Issue 2 highlights","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"January 23, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Throughout our 25th anniversary year, we're marking this milestone by inviting you on a journey through the BLR archive, with special highlights \u2014 stories, poems, photos, and more \u2014 from each of our issues.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Issue Highlights&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Issue Highlights","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/issue-highlights\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/02.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 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10","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/10.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Issue-51.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19804"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19804\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19827,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19804\/revisions\/19827"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19804"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":19788,"date":"2026-09-15T22:10:58","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T22:10:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19788"},"modified":"2026-09-15T22:11:07","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T22:11:07","slug":"everyone-who-has-ever-carried-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/everyone-who-has-ever-carried-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Everyone Who Has Ever Carried Me."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19788_e0fbaf-f7 alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19788_8fc461-58\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19788_60607b-12 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19788_82af51-f1\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15513 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png 1000w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19788_e7587d-45\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">Everyone Who Has Ever Carried Me.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Olivia Mae Longoria<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#e8ad9a;font-size:12px\">poetry<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading19788_4f7b59-9a wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading19788_4f7b59-9a\">First, my mother.<br>Shortly after, my father.\u00a0<br>A few of their friends, whom I call aunt or uncle.<br>A doctor with a chart and the result of a genetic test.<br>A hiatus for a while.\u00a0<br>Then, my first love, who adjusted my toes in my sandals when I could not.<br>Now, my forever love, who lifts me gently from the floor and dances to make me laugh.<br>And in between, my friends, always my friends.<br>Up the stairs, down the block, onto the dance floor,<br>Into clean clothes and to the kitchen for tea.<br>Someday, sons and nephews, whose hands will press to a pine casket.<br>Before then, a motorized chair, maybe not.<br>In any case, thank you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19788_8b3094-63 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19788_06c3c9-d1\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19788_18a84d-44\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-2 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><style 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.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44{align-self:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44{align-self:auto;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kt-row-column-wrap > .kadence-column19788_18a84d-44{align-self:center;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44{align-self:auto;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}.kadence-column19788_18a84d-44 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Olivia Mae Longoria.<br \/>\n&#8220;First, my mother. \/ Shortly after, my father. \/ A few of their friends, whom I call aunt or uncle. \/ A doctor with a chart and the result of a genetic test.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":15513,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[301],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","tag-issue-50"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Poetry<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span 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lie late in your bed, once our bed."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19787_3c152b-ee alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19787_eaa765-b4\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19787_c45a0a-a0 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19787_c9f5bb-77\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" 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https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19787_e443cc-59\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">We lie late in your bed, once our bed.\u00a0<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Sue Churchill<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#e8ad9a;font-size:12px\">poetry<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading19787_87bd61-57 wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading19787_87bd61-57\">You rest your hand\u00a0<br>anywhere on my body,\u00a0<br>shoulder, breast,\u00a0<br>ribs, thigh,<br>fingers neither<br>asking nor telling,<br>tracing surely\u00a0<br>an invisible path<br>winding, worn,<br>the way sheep<br>will to shade.<br>We won\u2019t be hurried,\u00a0<br>wherever it is\u00a0<br>we must go.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19787_56f83f-b6 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19787_a05859-b0\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19787_0ede1a-e8\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-3 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n<style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id19787_3c152b-ee > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id19787_3c152b-ee > .kt-row-column-wrap) > .wp-block-kadence-column{justify-content:start;}.kb-row-layout-id19787_3c152b-ee > .kt-row-column-wrap{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 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thigh, \/<br \/>\nfingers neither \/ asking nor telling&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":15513,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[301],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","tag-issue-50"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Poetry<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Poetry<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 50<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Issue 50<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 1 week ago","modified":"Updated 1 week ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 15, 2026","modified":"Updated on September 15, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 15, 2026 10:04 pm","modified":"Updated on September 15, 2026 10:05 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","tpgb_featured_images":{"full":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png",1000,1000,false],"tp-image-grid":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png",700,700,true],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png",300,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png",768,768,true],"large":["https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png",1000,1000,false],"default":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/the-plus-addons-for-block-editor\/assets\/images\/tpgb-placeholder.jpg"},"tpgb_post_meta_info":{"get_date":"September 15, 2026","get_modified_date":"September 15, 2026","category_list":{"category":[{"term_id":7,"name":"Poetry","slug":"poetry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":7,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":216,"filter":"raw"}],"post_tag":[{"term_id":301,"name":"Issue 50","slug":"issue-50","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":301,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":10,"filter":"raw"}],"post_format":false},"author_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/","author_email":"irenzamp@scarletmail.rutgers.edu","author_website":"","author_description":"","author_facebook":"","author_twitter":"","author_instagram":"","author_role":["editor"],"author_firstname":"Irene","author_lastname":"Zampetoulas","user_login":"irenezamp","comment_count":0,"post_likes":0,"post_views":0},"tpgb_post_category":{"category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" alt=\"Poetry\"  class=\"category-poetry\">Poetry<\/a> ","post_tag":"<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" alt=\"Issue 50\"  class=\"post_tag-issue-50\">Issue 50<\/a> "},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7232,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/the-bottom-drawer\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":0},"title":"The Bottom Drawer","author":"BLR","date":"August 23, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"by Amanda Auchter. \"Tucked beneath my mother\u2019s shirts \/ and camisoles, a paper bag \/ of prayer cards, I find...\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 18 2010 Prize Winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2192,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/papa-bipolar-bear\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":1},"title":"Papa (Bi-Polar) Bear","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"October 14, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"by Lila Dlaboha. \"You didn\u2019t come to bed until morning \/ You opened and closed doors all night \/ while I slept in the ambient soot...\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 38 2020 Prize winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/38.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7239,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/getting-over-a-cold\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":2},"title":"Getting Over a Cold","author":"BLR","date":"August 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"by Margaret Kogan. \"First open the windows and empty the garbage. \/ Next start the laundry, lights and darks. \/ Strip the bed, wash sheets, pillowcases, \/ mattress and quilt covers, mats and towels.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 18 2010 Prize Winners","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/18.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19651,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/after\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":3},"title":"After","author":"Irene Zampetoulas","date":"September 9, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Joanna Catherine Scott. \"Last night, after the towers fell, I lay down \/ on my bed and waited out the long dark \/ falling hours, the silent, falling shapes of death.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/03.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2129,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/housebound\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":4},"title":"Housebound","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"March 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"by Betsy Unger. \"My husband has been into town. \/ I can smell the out of doors \/ in his hair, on his cheek \/ as he bends to embrace me in bed \/ where I live now rather than sleep.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 37 A Good Life","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/37.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/37.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/37.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/37.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3501,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/thanksgiving-visiting-my-brother-on-the-ward\/","url_meta":{"origin":19787,"position":5},"title":"Thanksgiving: Visiting My Brother on the Ward","author":"Danielle Ofri","date":"February 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"by Peter Schmitt. \"Behind the thick, crosshatched glass of the cruiser \/ my brother, back for the holiday, breathes \/ more slowly.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/11.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/11.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/11.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/11.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19787"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19793,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19787\/revisions\/19793"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19787"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":19786,"date":"2026-09-15T21:55:03","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T21:55:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19786"},"modified":"2026-09-15T21:55:12","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T21:55:12","slug":"the-trauma-bay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/the-trauma-bay\/","title":{"rendered":"The Trauma Bay"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19786_e67a39-1f alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19786_9ca6bc-d5\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19786_79e5d1-28 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19786_c490e0-1c\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15513 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png 1000w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19786_c6350e-05\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">The Trauma Bay<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Rachael Trotter<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#e8ad9a;font-size:12px\">poetry<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading19786_3fc65b-81 wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading19786_3fc65b-81\">The air is iron-rich\u00a0like good potting soil<br>here, where the sun won\u2019t\u00a0ever\u00a0reach, only<br>the exam light beam boring down<br>on the life raft of a gurney, the patient<br>barely afloat at its center. The trauma bay<br><br>now so loud and full,\u00a0buzzing and fierce,\u00a0<br>blue-gloved hands in constant motion,<br>orders thrown across\u00a0the patient\u2019s body:<br><em>give an amp of bicarb<\/em> and <em>push harder<\/em><br>and <em>we need more gauze<\/em> and <em>does anyone<\/em><br><em>feel a pulse<\/em>. But the defibrillator\u2019s squeal\u00a0<br><br>before a shock cuts through the noise. And no,\u00a0<br>their bodies don\u2019t leap\u00a0from the bed\u00a0<br>like they do in the movies but sometimes you\u2019ll see<br>their fingers curl inward like they\u2019re grasping\u00a0<br>at something. This time, his hands, wide-knuckled<br>and broad\u00a0like my father\u2019s, splay open in mercy.<br><br>Now, the raft is empty, now I keep my own hands<br>busy\u00a0sweeping up broken ampule necks, gutted<br>plastic packages, what\u2019s left of his Levi jeans,\u00a0<br>knees worn, a ring of brass keys still hooked\u00a0<br>to his belt loop, limp. I scrub the floor clean,<br>\u00a0<br>tuck the drawers tightly closed, line up my needles\u00a0<br>and syringes, run water over the cracked steeples\u00a0<br>of my fingers, wash up to my elbows\u2014ready.<br><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19786_7128f0-c2 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19786_bb6830-2a\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19786_c4d29f-41\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-4 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id19786_e67a39-1f > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id19786_e67a39-1f > .kt-row-column-wrap) > .wp-block-kadence-column{justify-content:start;}.kb-row-layout-id19786_e67a39-1f > .kt-row-column-wrap{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 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class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19785_f9bce3-c4 alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19785_be93ec-03\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19785_d64d23-d0 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19785_721d9c-dd\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15513 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png 1000w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19785_fe58d5-65\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">Riverbound<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by L Annette Binder<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#e8ad9a;font-size:12px\">poetry<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading19785_6eaa7d-f8 wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading19785_6eaa7d-f8\">The lilacs were blooming when you took your bike,<br>the air fragrant as a funeral parlor when you rode<br>to the river, the birch and maples bursting,<br>the water like mercury in the May sunshine, and<br>did you see any of these things, I wonder\u00a0<br>afterwards\u2014the first dragonflies swarming,\u00a0<br>the monarchs over the irises. You rode with<br>purpose, a terrible calming certainty. You moved<br>through beauty untouched and untouchable and<br>nothing was quiet that day. Spring is the noisiest<br>of seasons, as if all the sleeping<br>creatures awaken at once with a shout,<br>the nuthatches, the peepers, the fat robins<br>and phoebes, the wayward owl<br>calling in the sunshine, and you passed<br>through the ruckus, through the ferns unfurling<br>and the teeming fields. Only the river<br>was still sluggish from winter. You went<br>to its dark waters as if pulled by some thread,<br>unknowable to others, perhaps even to you,<br>but stronger than every other bond<br>tying you to the world.<br><br><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19785_0c0c0e-11 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19785_129ed7-ba\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19785_b5a922-70\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-5 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id19785_f9bce3-c4 > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id19785_f9bce3-c4 > .kt-row-column-wrap) > .wp-block-kadence-column{justify-content:start;}.kb-row-layout-id19785_f9bce3-c4 > .kt-row-column-wrap{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 2rem);row-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 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1024px){.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19785_b5a922-70 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column19785_b5a922-70 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kt-row-column-wrap > .kadence-column19785_b5a922-70{align-self:center;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19785_b5a922-70{align-self:auto;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19785_b5a922-70 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}.kadence-column19785_b5a922-70 > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by L Annette Binder.<br \/>\n&#8220;The lilacs were blooming when you took your bike, \/ the air fragrant as a funeral parlor when you rode \/ to the river&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":15513,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[301],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","tag-issue-50"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene Zampetoulas","author_link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/author\/irenezamp\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" 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"},"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19785"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19789,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19785\/revisions\/19789"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19785"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":19782,"date":"2026-09-15T21:39:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T21:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19782"},"modified":"2026-09-15T21:39:09","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T21:39:09","slug":"telling-the-bees","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/poetry\/telling-the-bees\/","title":{"rendered":"Telling the Bees"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19782_04748e-31 alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19782_7d2a8b-c3\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19782_eff4c5-1d alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19782_c4df2d-60\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15513 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png 1000w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19782_55301c-19\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">Telling the Bees<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Dara Laine<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#e8ad9a;font-size:12px\">poetry<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"kt-adv-heading19782_9e89db-2b wp-block-kadence-advancedheading\" data-kb-block=\"kb-adv-heading19782_9e89db-2b\"><br>2026 Winner, John &amp; Eileen Allman Prize for Poetry<br><br>***<br><br>Maybe they knew before we did. Maybe they felt it. When the line flattened. The air static. Maybe grief hums at a pitch only bees can hear. You\u2019re supposed to tell them\u2014good news and bad. Everything that leaves a mark. That\u2019s what I was told. Or maybe what we needed to believe. So I went to the hive, this time to whisper your name. Everything appeared intact\u2014until I noticed the tilt. Had a branch fallen while we were gone? Had the neighbors dragged it away before we could see? Maybe something hungry came in the night\u2014too eager for sweetness to notice what it toppled. In my youth, the hive stood upright\u2014weathered, a quiet monument. Now it lay horizontal, soaked in the cold March mud. I thought the bees would flee. But softly, persistently, I heard their hum. They hadn\u2019t gone. They kept working, slipping through the splintered wood, lifting their bodies as if to say: we\u2019re here, it\u2019s okay, come home\u2014buzzing the same paths they\u2019d always followed, as if the route was written into their wings. As if grief couldn\u2019t touch their knowing. But maybe grief moves the hive, not the bees. The path\u2019s still there, but it leads nowhere now. Or maybe they already knew. Or maybe they were waiting for me to say it out loud so they could finally fly away, pollen-thick and bitter. I watched them and thought: maybe they felt it before we did. Maybe it was the knowing that pulled them to the earth\u2014tipped from the weight of it. The stillness. That awful silence after the rhythm stops. No. So there I stood, rooted like the old maple that shades their box, thinking, knowing: I should say something. I should do it right. It has fallen to me to tell the bees. I should speak. Whisper his name, the loudest sound in the world. But I couldn\u2019t. Not that day. I just let them carry on. Working\u2014a living hum in the wreckage.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19782_d03d70-2a alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19782_f29d02-b9\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19782_ace41c-d6\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-6 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id19782_04748e-31 > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id19782_04748e-31 > .kt-row-column-wrap) > .wp-block-kadence-column{justify-content:start;}.kb-row-layout-id19782_04748e-31 > .kt-row-column-wrap{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 2rem);row-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 2rem);padding-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-xxl, 5rem);padding-bottom:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 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Contents","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/table-of-contents\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 27 Our Fragile Environment","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/27.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/27.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/27.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/27.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16377,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/","url_meta":{"origin":19782,"position":4},"title":"Issue 50","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"May 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"2026 BLR Prizewinners FOREWORD Issue 50 Foreword by Danielle Ofri FICTION The Senator, by Shannon Perri (Winner)Hunting Game, by May Lee-Yang (Honorable Mention)Christmas Eve, 1966, by Andrew CominelliMy Name is Jin Ishida, by Joongi Andrew Lee Homecoming, by Rosalind GuyHard, by Miles MethDavanti all\u2019Altare di Santa Lucia, by Courtney Chatellier\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Table of Contents&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Table of Contents","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/table-of-contents\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13124,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/blog\/weekly-read-letter-to-a-dead-mother-by-martha-silano\/","url_meta":{"origin":19782,"position":5},"title":"Weekly Read: &#8220;Letter to a Dead Mother&#8221; by Martha Silano","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"August 29, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"This week's read is \"Letter to a Dead Mother\" by Martha Silano, from\u00a0BLR Issue 44.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Martha-Silano-headshot.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Martha-Silano-headshot.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Martha-Silano-headshot.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Martha-Silano-headshot.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Martha-Silano-headshot.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19782"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19783,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19782\/revisions\/19783"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19782"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":19777,"date":"2026-09-15T21:14:15","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T21:14:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/?p=19777"},"modified":"2026-09-18T18:10:33","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T18:10:33","slug":"running-deep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/nonfiction\/running-deep\/","title":{"rendered":"Running Deep"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19777_0b668a-f3 alignwide wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-1-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19777_2cfe6d-ba\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19777_b519db-77 alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-top\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19777_6d91eb-6c\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\"><div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15513 lazyload\" style=\"width:275px;height:auto\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png 1000w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-700x700.png 700w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-740x740.png 740w, https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50-48x48.png 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19777_bb4aa4-13\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:36px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">Running Deep<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-left\" style=\"font-size:28px;font-style:normal;font-weight:400\">by Won Lee<\/h1>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-custom-font-size wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/\" style=\"color:#141414;background-color:#cfdfd2;font-size:12px\">nonfiction<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"has-md-sm-font-size has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph\"><em>2026 Winner, Felice Buckvar Prize for Nonfiction<\/em><br><br>***<em><br><\/em><br>In the early days, when my father was still training to be my mother\u2019s caregiver, he would tell me of his nightmares about needles. In them, he\u2019d be sweating beside my mother, bent over her arm as he struggled to find the fistula. He\u2019d have already pierced the access point, but because the body isn\u2019t static, the fistula\u2014the artery sewed to a vein\u2014would shift location, sometimes lower, sometimes higher, sometimes to the left or to the right. He would probe inside her arm as my mother cried out. Every second he failed to find the flap would prolong her pain, which was his alone to cause, this needle an extension of his finger whose every touch brought her tears.&nbsp;<br><br>He would tell me this over the phone in soft-spoken tones: how his nightmare would then bleed into reality, struggling that same morning to find the fistula, my mother writhing while he searched, each minute paid by a struck nerve, until he was broken down before he even began. Yet the next session he would do it again, shouldering this task, without which my mother could not live but with which my father could not either, his weeks alternating between the days he had to take up the needle and the days he spent dreading picking one up.&nbsp;<br><br>I felt guilt that I could not do this for him, that no one could step in and lift this burden of saving her life. And he saved it\u2014still saves it\u2014each time he sets up the cycler, hangs the bags of solution, opens the clamps, and lets the blood flow to be cleansed, so she can rise from her chair to live another day.&nbsp;<br><br><br>In their Maryland home, my parents set up a treatment space in a spare room off the living room. The setup includes one table for the cycler\u2014a console that pumps and filters fluids\u2014and another strewn with gloves, gauze pads, and tubing. There\u2019s the waste bin where my father discards his bloodstained gloves and used lines. Along the wall are stacks of boxes of five-liter bags with dialysis solution, countless more of which he stores in the basement and carries upstairs from time to time. But the most important item, in the center of the room, is the brown leather chair my mother sits in for the duration of the multi-hour sessions.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br>This chair, which cost $600, is the one piece of furniture my mother avoids during her \u201coff\u201d days, and even right after hemodialysis. \u201cShe never sits in it otherwise,\u201d my father once told me as he plopped down on it. \u201cIt\u2019s a shame because it\u2019s quite comfortable.\u201d I tried it myself a few times, and it was indeed luxurious: the back supportive but cushioned, arms composed of plush leather, levers to recline and adjust the footrest. Under different circumstances, it would make a great reading chair. But when I later asked my mother about it, she sidestepped my question. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know why I dislike it,\u201d she said in Korean, before changing the subject. To be honest, I\u2019m not sure why I asked. I already knew what the chair had become for her, and that it could never be a place of comfort. Everything, each throe and episode of despair, was inscribed in that chair. And so instead she shunned the chair, as we all implicitly did while moving throughout the house, the impressions in the cushions calling out for a body\u2014her body\u2014to come and sit, to return to the prison of her condition, the failure of her physiology.&nbsp;<br><br><br>In the fall of 2019, before my mother started dialysis, my father organized a family trip to the West Coast. He rented a beach house in Aptos, California, and we traveled there by way of San Francisco. My partner and I flew in from Oregon, and my parents and siblings\u2014Thomas and Kyung\u2014from Maryland. The rationale behind the trip was that because my mother\u2019s mobility would soon be greatly affected, we should all take one more trip to a favorite place of hers. Though this later proved to be something of a false forecast\u2014with enough preparation, my parents learned to travel with the machine on rare occasions\u2014at the time this possible future hung over our heads like the overcast that marked our first days there, threatening to flood us with grief.&nbsp;<br><br>It held back until the last day at the beach house. We enjoyed, or wore the semblance of enjoying, the ordinariness of our sightseeing\u2014taking a drive to Muir Woods, where my parents stood marveling beneath the ancient redwoods; strolling through the streets of San Francisco and eating seafood on the northern waterfront; searching for condors while hiking at Pinnacles National Park; and visiting Monterey Bay, where we spent time at the aquarium.&nbsp;<br><br>The last of these destinations was the unstated objective of our trip. It was the place my parents took the three of us after my mother\u2019s cancer diagnosis decades prior. At the time, I was two years old, and her prognosis was terminal; she had a rare form of cancer, her odds of survival less than one percent. In a last-ditch effort to create some memories, my parents landed on the aquarium, a family favorite for its displays of tropical fish, the moray eels lurking in crevices, the hammerheads whose diametrically opposed eyes made us wonder at life\u2019s variability.&nbsp;<br><br>But more than any of these exhibits, we all gravitated toward the <em>Mola mola<\/em>, or the ocean sunfish, whose titanic form and stately procession around its tank entranced us. Silver-finned with an eye on each side of its disc-shaped body, it shone with the miracle of an underwater sun, a living one that returned us to an animistic universe where the elements were alive. It was evidence of an order to reality where all things in the sea and sky found their mirror and meaning. Especially for my parents, I think this is why they so loved this fish that served as witness: that my mother\u2019s sickness wasn\u2019t random, but written into the fabric of things.&nbsp;<br><br><br>Time behaves strangely when death approaches, then defers. We are familiar with the trope that every second with a terminally ill person acquires a heightened preciousness, the need to fulfill their last wishes taking on a sudden urgency, as old grievances fall away. But what happens when, after all the recalibration and anticipatory grief, the person lives?&nbsp;<br><br>In my mother\u2019s case, this has been the motif of her life. Over and again, between cancer and recurrence, solution and complication, she\u2019d end up in the ER, on an operating table, my father sending my siblings and me an urgent text that this might be it. But then, by some twist of fate, she would survive. She would make it through the procedures, the treatment would work, the cause would be found in time, the surgeon\u2019s hands would be just deft enough. And our mother would again be ours, able to eke out a few more years, returning to us never healthy but alive nonetheless, and about this we were happy, or at least believed ourselves to be.&nbsp;<br><br>Yet each round of anticipatory grief wore away at us. Our psyches could only bear so many <em>almosts<\/em> until the realization that, at times, we were disappointed by how what was promised wasn\u2019t given, that we could not find release and step into the mourning our lives had become one long prelude to. It is not easy to admit, but we came to crave the black sun of the aftermath. It was more than curiosity and less than total desire, but it was as real as our guilt when we wished for it.&nbsp;<br><br>It was clear there was no winner in the zero-sum game of our mother\u2019s survival. The deferral of loss atrophied our relief, until we noticed only how her scar tissue had found a counterpart in the hardness we inexplicably came to possess.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br><br>During that trip, I saw the sunfish in Monterey for the first time as an adult. Two aspects struck me that I\u2019d never noticed as a child. The first was that its body was scarred\u2014slashed and indented with its history before captivity. There were bite marks from encounters with predators, lesions from parasites, and a torn fin, which trailed in the water like a tattered flag. It made me remember the time I accidentally saw my mother naked. She\u2019d always been careful to keep her body hidden from me throughout the years, but one time during a stay at a hotel, I walked in on her changing. It was only a glimpse, and I apologized right away while closing the door behind me, but it was enough to imprint itself in my mind\u2014the patchwork of irregular and clustered scars, the map of all that had been done to her.&nbsp;<br><br>In that moment, I could not bear to look at her, even as I would not avert my gaze. And as I stared at the sunfish, this was what I saw\u2014the grooves in her flesh, the writing of the scalpel, the palimpsest of healed tissue that could never replace what had been cut away. My mother was the sunfish, and the sunfish was my mother, exchanging places in a way that was all too mortal until I could not stare at them any longer\u2014neither the captive swimming endlessly around its tank nor my mother watching it through the glass.&nbsp;<br><br>The second feature I noticed about the <em>Mola mola<\/em> was how it wasn\u2019t exactly a sun in the typical sense. Rather than being the center of a system around which other bodies revolve, it would circle some unseen center in its tank as if the real sun were absent, the void around which the dead and living hurtle without end. In this same manner, the sunfish seemed on the brink of madness, tracing the circumference of its conical prison in a ceaseless rotation, a sad carousel around a simulacrum of ocean\u2014tracing it until the day the sunfish extinguished and sank to the depths of its tank to settle on the floor.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br><br>If you took an accounting of all the supplies each dialysis session uses, it would amount to hundreds of pounds. There is foremost the cycler, which weighs some ninety pounds. And then there are the bags of solution, which collectively add another fifty-five. These make up most of the paraphernalia, but there are of course filters, lines, syringes, needles, masks, gloves, gauze, a blood pressure monitor, and a thermometer, which together contribute an additional twenty pounds or so.&nbsp;<br><br>During the first mornings I sat with my mother during her dialysis sessions, I was struck by the quantity of trash produced at the end: the lines and used needles that my father gathered, the empty syringes and bloodied gauze he placed in a plastic bag before stripping off his gloves and discarding them with the rest. It was clear that her survival came at a cost, the removal of waste from her blood made possible by the disconcerting generation of a different kind of waste.&nbsp;<br><br>As someone who is conscious about my consumption, I brushed against this double bind: it felt wrong to consume so much to sustain one person, but on the other hand this person was not just anyone, but my mother. It was a situation that brought me disenchantment with this medical \u201csolution,\u201d which still felt primitive in its effectiveness. Though many take pride in healthcare\u2019s advancements, whenever I saw the extent of what was needed to perform the work of my mother\u2019s dysfunctional kidneys, I felt strongly that this pride was misplaced. After all, this pair of organs\u2014each just five inches long and weighing about half a pound\u2014is a marvel of nature, an intricate machine that can function better than this medley of equipment. It is a contrast I still think about from time to time, how a pound of kidneys can outdo hundreds of pounds of supplies.&nbsp;<br><br><br>It was the final night of our stay in Aptos when our grief finally descended on us. My father sat us down in the living room to tell us what dialysis would mean for our lives going forward. It was a cool evening and the windows were closed, and all of us were sitting on different couches, our attention focused on our father as he spoke.&nbsp;<br><br>\u201cI don\u2019t know how long she will live once she starts,\u201d my father began. \u201cStatistics say life expectancy is five to ten years.\u201d He paused to glance at my mother. \u201cBut she\u2019s starting at an earlier age than most. And I\u2019ve heard some even live for twenty or thirty years.\u201d I watched his face to see what he believed. \u201cMore importantly,\u201d my father continued, \u201cour mobility will be greatly limited. We might not even be able to travel, and if we can, who knows for how long.\u201d<br>&nbsp;<br>His words hung in the air as if searching for somewhere to settle. I had already heard snippets of this, as we all had at various times when we\u2019d called home. But there was something about being together that made it real. Before he could finish, some hidden latch opened, and Kyung began to cry. \u201cUmma, <em>saranghae<\/em>,\u201d Kyung choked out between sobs. \u201cI love you.\u201d My mother nodded and started to tear up.&nbsp;<br><br>\u201cBut we\u2019re in this as a family,\u201d my father said, as if this platitude would in any way placate us. For all of us it felt, at last, like the home stretch of her illness, the time we\u2019d spent years preparing for. But when it came, it was just a heaviness as pure as our feelings welling up.&nbsp;<br><br>My father stopped talking, and for an interval we sat listening to Kyung cry. I don\u2019t know what expression I wore on my face, but Thomas picked at his toenail as if a speck was lodged there. Then he looked up. \u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d he said, and stood and walked out of the living room, leaving the rest of us to watch him go.&nbsp;<br><br>In that instant, I wanted to say something. But what could I say? Our silence was already articulate. In it was our fear and trembling, our mourning and the love that made it possible. As we sat there, our silence connected us like a constellation, the four of us in the living room and Thomas back in his bedroom, doubtless staring at some empty point on the wall like a shadow of the vacancy we were waiting for our mother to leave. And like our shared vigil, this night would be gone when we woke the next morning and knew that life went on, that we would go on, burying our grief into the depths of who we were. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><br>&nbsp;<br>These days, when I reunite with my mother, I can tell from her face whether it was a dialysis day. There\u2019s a certain pallor to her cheeks, a weariness that requires her to lie down, an&nbsp;irritability that can tip into a glazed-over stare that does not see, an absentmindedness that listens but does not hear.&nbsp;<br><br>On these occasions, the most I can do is sit beside her and look\u2014really look\u2014at what she has become. And as I do, I imagine the future before us: a cardiac monitor, an IV line from her arm, a vase of flowers on the mantle, and myself at her bedside, saying goodbye. It is what lies ahead, and though I suppress this image, it superimposes itself over the scene before me. Her chair is already a kind of bed in which she reclines during dialysis, watching a show on her phone, pretending she is not in this room but inside the screen, living the romance or else the comic relief, while beside her the cycler whirs and my father checks his emails, rising to his feet to record her vitals or adjust the machine\u2019s settings.&nbsp;<br><br>Where do I fall in this orchestration of supine body, nurse, and machine? The answer is in her expression when I enter the room. My presence reads as a different kind of escape for her. I am a respite from her solitude, but even more so, I am a reason she endures, wishing as she does to live a little longer for her children.&nbsp;<br><br><br>Somewhere in my mind, I see her moving through the house. It is her off day and she is lighthearted, telling me how the violets have bloomed in the garden. \u201cCome look,\u201d she says, taking me by the hand to the bay window, through which we can see the maple and the hedges, the sun filtering in to caress our cheeks. My gaze moves from the view to her face, her gray-streaked hair, the sunken pockets out of which her eyes stare through the glass at a lushness that was never hers.<br><br>But there is another scene I also picture. I am on the other side of the window, barely able to see her silhouette against the reflected light. The glass contains her, and I can only approach the pane, laying my palm on its surface, wanting to bring her where I am. And she smiles at me sadly, pressing her own palm to the window as if to say, <em>It\u2019s okay. I\u2019m happy you\u2019re out there. Go on and live your life.<\/em> I hold my hand there a moment longer, then let it drop to my side. I start to move away toward the garden\u2019s edge, stopping every few steps to glance over my shoulder. <em>Go on<\/em>, her eyes say, and I keep walking until she is in the distance, until I barely see her, until I see nothing at all.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:12px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-essential-blocks-advanced-heading  root-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 advgb-dyn-b66364c8\"><div class=\"eb-parent-wrapper eb-parent-eb-advance-heading-wfey7 \"><div class=\"eb-advance-heading-wrapper eb-advance-heading-wfey7 button-1 undefined\" data-id=\"eb-advance-heading-wfey7\"><h2 class=\"eb-ah-title\"><span class=\"first-title\">More from Issue 50<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"kb-row-layout-wrap kb-row-layout-id19777_fbef00-eb alignnone wp-block-kadence-rowlayout\"><div class=\"kt-row-column-wrap kt-has-2-columns kt-row-layout-equal kt-tab-layout-inherit kt-mobile-layout-row kt-row-valign-middle\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19777_cc112a-17\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-89b4c9e9 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/table-of-contents\/issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">  table of contents  <\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-column kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b\"><div class=\"kt-inside-inner-col\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-left is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-63375db1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-color has-background has-link-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/product\/blr-issue-50\/\" style=\"color:#ffffff;background-color:#486a9d\">purchase issue<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n<div style=\"color:#757575\" class=\"taxonomy-post_tag has-link-color wp-elements-7 wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-text-align-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blreview.org\/tag\/issue-50\/\" rel=\"tag\">Issue 50<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n<style class=\"advgb-styles-renderer\">.kb-row-layout-id19777_0b668a-f3 > .kt-row-column-wrap{align-content:start;}:where(.kb-row-layout-id19777_0b668a-f3 > .kt-row-column-wrap) > 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.kt-inside-inner-col > .aligncenter{width:100%;}.kt-row-column-wrap > .kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:center;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:auto;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col:before{opacity:0.3;}.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{position:relative;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kt-row-column-wrap > .kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:auto;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kt-row-column-wrap > .kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:center;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b{align-self:auto;}.kt-inner-column-height-full:not(.kt-has-1-columns) > .wp-block-kadence-column.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}.kadence-column19777_21cc6c-2b > .kt-inside-inner-col{flex-direction:column;justify-content:center;}}<\/style>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Won Lee.<br \/>\n&#8220;In the early days, when my father was still training to be my mother\u2019s caregiver, he would tell me of his nightmares about needles. In them, he\u2019d be sweating beside my mother, bent over her arm as he struggled to find the fistula.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":15513,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"essential-blocks-fullwidth-template.php","format":"standard","meta":{"tpgb_global_settings":"","_eb_attr":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[301],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-19777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nonfiction","tag-issue-50"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"Irene 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When he finds it, he quiets, \/ his hand a vice on mine.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Issue 31 The Art of Memory","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/31.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/31.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/31.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/31.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13632,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/fiction\/coulrophobia\/","url_meta":{"origin":19777,"position":3},"title":"Coulrophobia","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"October 29, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jacob M. 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'Matthew, the work is always the best pay.'\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Fiction&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Fiction","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/12.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14284,"url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/nonfiction\/exene\/","url_meta":{"origin":19777,"position":5},"title":"Exene","author":"Stacy Bodziak","date":"February 5, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Kate Broad. \"My family must have read some theory, or made it up themselves, that having a pet could help lower suicide risk. An animal was something to believe in, to hold close\u2014a reason to get up each day.\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Nonfiction&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Nonfiction","link":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/category\/nonfiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/49-VERTICAL.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/49-VERTICAL.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/49-VERTICAL.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/49-VERTICAL.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/50.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19777"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19777\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19884,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19777\/revisions\/19884"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19777"},{"taxonomy":"thb-sponsors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blreview.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/thb-sponsors?post=19777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}]