Weekly Read: “Coulrophobia” by Jacob M. Appel

BLR’s Weekly Read brings you one outstanding story, poem, or essay from our archive. This week’s read is “Coulrophobia” by Jacob M. Appel, from Issue 9.  

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My father fancied himself a shrewd landlord—he refused to rent to lawyers, the children of lawyers, even a college girl who “had law school written all over her”—but he probably bit off too much when he sublet to the mime. That was the summer after I turned eleven, when we lived in the dilapidated Oakland duplex that my father billed as South Berkeley in the real estate listings. The structure itself was an ugly stucco cube, topped with red slate. But it sat at the end of a row of once fashionable ranch houses and bungalows, shaded by eucalyptus trees and jacaranda. The colorful hedgerows—hibiscus, thundercloud plums, bougainvillea—lent a false air of elegance, though you didn’t have to look too closely to spot the cracked terracotta and chipped paint. After the computer science department terminated my father’s graduate studies (a parting he attributed to politics and they, to plagiarism), he earned some cash by renting the bottom half of the duplex. The first tenant was a hippie-turned-clairvoyant who conducted séances in her kitchen. Aquamarine had childbearing hips and didn’t seem to own a bra. Sometimes she sunbathed topless in the backyard, displaying her generously-oiled flesh to anyone peering out a second-story window. After six months, our clairvoyant tenant connected with her late grandmother, who insisted that Aquamarine tend to her grave in Newfoundland. The result was that the rooms stood vacant while my father and stepmother bickered over money.


About Issue 9

This issue was BLR‘s first issue to include a themed section, “Plagues and Pens,” which features poems, essays, and stories on infectious diseases. Explore more from the issue.

Why this story?

Issue 9
BLR Issue 9

“Appel deftly balances comedy and seriousness in this story, making his characters both silly and deeply human. And I found the way miming itself is described very moving—he makes it feel weighty. Of course, you’re trying to make an audience laugh, but the return to the preverbal has a sort of mythic quality. The mime’s—and the story’s—power comes in toeing the line of the two.”

– Sophie Griffin, BLR Intern

More from Jacob

Jacob M. Appel is a physician, writer, bioethicist, and attorney. Appel serves as Director of Ethics Education in Psychiatry and Assistant Director of the Academy for Medicine & the Humanities at the Icahn School of Medicine; he is also an emergency room psychiatrist at Mount Sinai. He is the author of nineteen books of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, including a compendium of ethical conundrums drawn from medicine and healthcare (Who Says You’re Dead?). His first novel, The Man Who Wouldn’t Stand Up, won the Dundee International Book Prize. He is a member of BLR‘s Board of Directors. Learn more about Jacob on his website.